The Tale of the Pencil Sharpener.

Our class electric pencil sharpener decided to die a few weeks ago. It was no problem, because I have a smaller electric pencil sharpener that I brought in to tide us over until I figured out what was wrong with the real one. That is, until our back up one decided to die yesterday. 

Teaching with no pencil sharpener proved to be no bueno, so I brought home the first pencil sharpener to see if by some chance Daniel could fix it. It took him about 30 minutes to take the entire thing apart, get it working, and put it back together again. 

Would you like to know what was wrong with it?

There were four (yes, four) paperclips inside it. FOUR of them. And also a wad of paper, and part of the lid of a pen for good measure. All of that somehow jammed into a poor, defenseless pencil sharpener. 

So, class began today with Mrs. Sorensen holding up a plastic bag filled with the evidence. This was followed by a little lecture about why the pencil sharpener would be making its new home right in the middle of my desk from here on out. 

I brought my other sharpener home today to see if Daniel can fix it too. I can't say I'm not  a little concerned about what we might find when we take that one apart. 

Bets, anyone?

a story for your thursday.

Embarrassingly enough, that would be my desk at School. UEA weekend couldn't have come at a better time, right? I'm super behind with grading planning organizing cleaning laundry dishes general life, and I woke up with a bit of a cold today (sad face). Take this story that Daniel told me yesterday as further evidence that I seriously needed a break from school:

The other night, I went to bed a little before Daniel did. These days I tend to fall fast asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow, so I was already fast asleep by the time Daniel came in to get ready for bed. I remember none of this, but according to him, I said his name a few times so he came over to the bed. Then I launched into a mini-monologue about how I had explained a story problem to him, and he just needed to do it. I had already told him how, so why hadn't he done it yet? Daniel was trying really hard not to laugh at me, but apparently I was talking with my hands and basically giving him a lecture as if he were one of my students. Finally, he gave up trying to reason with me and told me that I was still sleeping. I guess I was in a compliant mood, because I simply sighed and said "Okay," rolled over, and fell asleep again.

We both got a pretty good laugh out of it, especially because talking in my sleep isn't one of my normal characteristics. Conclusion? We think teaching school is slowly making me crazy. Either way, I'm planning on relaxing this weekend. I see a lot of movies on the couch with blankets and  hot apple cider, long walks outside, and a possible trip to the pumpkin patch. 

Happy weekend!

Events of the day.

Sorry guys! I have been seriously neglecting the blog as of late. Here is my list of excuses for why I haven't been able to blog:

1. I was busy trying to graduate from college. (Don't worry, I succeeded.)

2. I was busy trying to find a teaching job. (Don't worry, I also succeeded!)

3. I was busy laying on the beach in California.

4. I was busy riding all the rides and eating all the churros at Disneyland.

4. I was busy trying to figure out how to move my entire life from my old computer (RIP) to my new one! (I just barely succeeded on that one today.)

So, yeah. Expect some "flashback" posts in the next little while - I have a lot of catching up to do! Today, however is not a flashback. These are all events that happened today.

Event 1: The Carpet Cleaning Guy

First of all, I've been spending a lot of time lately setting up my classroom (!) and organizing all of my teaching materials for the upcoming year. In case you missed it on Facebook, I accepted a teaching position at Mill Creek Elementary in Granite District. I'll be teaching 4th and 5th grade this year, and I am beyond excited! 

Back to setting up my classroom. There were a bunch of people there today moving furniture out of the classrooms so the carpets could be cleaned. I was in my room, working hard trying to get everything put away so they could clean the carpets when one of the carpet cleaning guys poked his head into my room. He looked around for a minute, and then asked: "Hey, do you know if the teacher for this room is here?"

........um.

That is not a joke. He actually asked me that. I was speechless for several seconds before I put my little hand up and said "Um...that would be me." The poor guy felt bad and pretended like he knew the whole time, but we all know what really happened. Perhaps I need to get out my fake glasses again and start dressing more like an adult when I go in to clean out my classroom. Or perhaps it will just take me a couple of years to start looking (and let's be honest, feeling) like I'm actually qualified to do this job.

Event 2: That time I dragged my sister Allison on a 4 hour drive for milk.

Later, I got home and decided I was absolutely, positively craving these little flavored milk cartons that you can only get from one place - Gossner's Dairy in Logan. I first discovered them when Daniel's mom gave me one up at the cabin, and the addiction was finalized when we went to see the Elk at Hardware Ranch and stopped at Gossner's on the way down. I discovered that they sold the things in cases, and they came in more flavors that I ever imagined. I got a case of the chocolate ones (still my favorite to this day) and bought one of every other flavor to sample. My second favorite is the banana, third is the vanilla, and fourth is the orange cream. The root beer one is not legit.

But today, we were out of them. And I wanted them. Bad enough to drive nearly 2 hours up to Logan just to get them, and then drive the 2 hours back in the same day. So I did the only logical thing I could think of - I packed some car snacks and kidnapped my little sister to show her the beauty that is Gossner's Dairy in Logan.

We had a blast driving up there - the scenery was beautiful, and we got to hang out and catch up on each other's lives. Once we got there, we sampled everything we could and left with cases upon cases of the tasty flavored milk. We also bought some squeaky cheese, and got Gossner's ice cream cones for good measure. I had the best strawberry-banana cone of my life, and Allison went for the dreamy chocolate-marshmallow flavor.

Then, we turned around and drove home. All in a day's work.

Event 3: We are at the cabin!

That's right. After I drove the 4 hours to Logan and back, I packed my things got back in the car for another hour drive up to the cabin. Daniel and I are up here for the weekend with his sister Emily, and we are going fishing tomorrow! If you consider our last two fishing trips, I should hopefully have some stories to share.

Here's to an adventure-filled summer, and some more consistent blogging in the future!

...

A bull in a china shop.

Sometimes Daniel is like a bull in a china shop. Have you ever heard that saying? It means means you often drop or break things, or move roughly in small areas. Today, as we were on the floor duct taping the broken rung of Daniel's dining room chair, we came up with a comprehensive list of everything Daniel has broken in our apartment since we moved in:

1. Dropped a pocket knife that cut through our bed sheet and the mattress pad underneath.
2. Slipped in the shower and cracked the wall when he crashed into it.
3. Slipped in the shower again and pulled down the shower curtain rod.
4. Dented the ceiling moving a grandfather clock into the apartment.
5. Chipped the white finish on the stove dropping a bowl.
6. Cracked the light fixture in the kitchen. (In all fairness, it was me who asked him to screw it in tighter).
7. Broke the bottom rung of his dining room chair, as stated above.
8. Squeezed the pink printer ink too hard, and made a lovely design on the carpet. (Bonus: his hand was dyed pink for two days).
9. Shattered a glass cup on the kitchen floor.
10. Dented the IKEA dresser with a belt buckle.

As we were making the list, we discovered that I'm not innocent either. So here's my list of broken things:

1. Spilled an entire melted lilac candle on the bedroom carpet.
2. Dropped a bowl and dented the microwave (the first week we had it).
3. Fed a spoon to the garbage disposal.
4. Ruined a white dress shirt with eye-makeup.

So there you have it. I've said it once, and I'll say it again. It's a really good thing our apartment manager doesn't read my blog.

That time I thought our apartment was going to catch on fire.

Today, I got out of the shower at about 7:00 a.m. and heard a slightly terrifying sound. Every few seconds, I'd hear a crackling, hissing noise coming from inside the little closet that contains our furnace. So, I started racing around in my towel trying to figure out what was wrong. When I opened the door, I knew what was making the sound - the pilot light. Every few seconds it would flare up so badly that I could actually see the flames, and then it would die down. I had no idea what was wrong, but I knew for sure it was not legit.

Basically, here's how it went down: mandy + fire + flames + furnace + apartment = total freakout.

I was pretty sure that I needed to vacate the premises and warn my neighbors of a possible massive explosion in my furnace room. I wondered if I should just grab the 72-hour-kit and run for my life, or if I should start hauling out all of our precious belongings first. Then, I remembered I was naked except for my towel, and I thought it might be wise to get dressed first. But did I have the time? I wasn't so sure.

In the end, the first thing I did was, of course, call Daniel. But he happened to be taking a test that morning, so he wasn't his usual prompt-phone-answering self. So I called my mom. She actually answered at 7:00 in the morning (bless her soul) but she knew about as much about pilot lights as I did, which was not very much. We did, however, both agree that my flaming pilot light was sketchy and needed to be dealt with. She reminded me that I should probably call emergency maintenance and ask them to come and rescue me. 

Now, let me just tell you, we have a wonderful maintenance man. His name is George. He drives a vintage red pickup truck that I have been meaning to snap a photo of for quite some time. George, Daniel,  and I had a bonding experience a few months ago when he showed up to work on something in our apartment one morning, and caught us in our pajamas. Whoops.

So, as I'm wet and shivering in my towel at 7:00 in the morning, I was really happy to hear his voice on the other end of the phone. After I described the situation, George told me to calm down, and to turn off the pilot light until he got there to look at it. Judging by my silence on the phone, George figured out that I had no idea how to do that, so he told me to turn the thermostat off instead. I'm so glad George and I understand each other.

I was feeling safe enough to leave our apartment to go to work once I turned the thermostat down and the scary noise stopped. I sent Daniel a text telling him I was sorry for bugging him, but not to worry, because I saved our apartment from burning down by calling emergency maintenance. That was, apparently, not as comforting to Daniel as it was to me, because he called me about 2 minutes later to ask for an explanation.

Then, I got another phone call from a Restricted number. I didn't answer because I had no idea who would be calling me, but a few minutes after that, the manager of the apartments was calling me too. At this point, I was having a brief heart attack because something had probably gone haywire with that darn pilot light after all, and they were calling to tell me that my furnace had singlehandedly burned down the entire apartment complex. 

Luckily, my manager was calling because George didn't have a key to our place, and needed one of us to let him in. Except, I reminded her, that he definitely had a key a few months ago during our little "bonding experience." And also, why was he calling me from a Restricted number? Is that what our relationship has come to, George? Is it because I called you at 7:00 am?

Regardless. It turns out George simply misplaced our key, and he got in and got it fixed before I was even home from work that day. Needless to say, it was a dramatic morning. And I pretty much owe my life and sanity to George. 

The End.

how to get candle wax off carpet 101

D and I (mostly me) learned something new today. Well, a couple of things, actually. First, I learned that you should never, ever leave a candle on the carpet - even if it's on a candle warmer. Second, I learned that candles can shatter from the bottom while they are on candle warmers for absolutely no reason at all. Third, I learned how to clean candle wax off of the carpet using an iron and paper bags - a skill I thought I would share with the world because it completely saved our bums today after our "candle incident."

Honestly, I have no idea how it happened. First there was a loud popping sound, then out of nowhere half of a melted candle was soaking into our bedroom carpet. Half is also not an exaggeration. Did I mention the candle was purple? It was purple.

So what does one do in a situation like that? Generally freak out in my case, and remain totally cool and calm in D's case.

M: "How on earth does that happen!??!?!!!!"

D: "I've heard of it happening before."

M: "Why didn't you tell me!??!!!?!"

D: "Because...I don't know. Do you want to google this or should I?"

So I turned to google. The first video I watched was hilarious, but not in a good way. If you watch it, picture me, completely panicked, sitting there listening to them list off the 423 supplies you will need to get the wax off the carpet. Oh, and then if it's colored wax, you will probably have to call "the professionals." Thanks for the faith.

The second site I tried told us to wait until the wax dried and scrape it off with a butter knife. Nope. That worked about as well as me staring at the wax and wishing it would go away.

After a few more failed google attempts, I let Daniel look it up while I did the only other thing I could think of. I called my mom. She only laughed at me a little bit, but she gave us some awesome ideas that turned out to be very similar to what Daniel found online. Moms know everything.

To make a long story short (too late) we spent the majority of our Tuesday evening ironing purple candle wax off the bedroom carpet with paper bags. Although everything within 10 feet of the "incident" still smells like lilacs, I am pretty impressed with how it turned out! Assuming our apartment manager doesn't read my blog, I don't think we'll lose the security deposit over this one. phew.

Here's a video of our escapades to show you what to do if you happen to spill half of a melted candle on your carpet.

Oh, and we also learned that going to get Maverick hot chocolate with our animal hats on can make even the worst evenings more bearable :)

Confessions of a Teacher-in-Training: I'm a bad blogger.

I probably should apologize for being a terrible blogger these days, but I'm pretty much lucky if I get more than 4 hours of sleep in with the 14 hours of homework I did yesterday. My poor blog has had to go on the back burner, but it's time for an update!

My University classes and tutoring have been pretty rough lately, but student teaching is going wonderfully! My kids are the best. I've taught some really fun lessons lately that I've felt really good about. I've also loved getting closer with the other student teachers in my cohort. There are some seriously awesome people that are going to be teachers, guys. There is still hope for education!

Also, I have to share the most hilarious conversation I had with one of my students. Some background: this happened on the very first day I taught by myself without my teacher being at the school. We were just coming inside from recess.

Tristan: Mrs. Sorensen! Mrs. Sorensen! Nay lost a tooth at recess!
Me: Hmm, that's weird that Nay is still losing teeth. I would think he'd be done by 6th grade.
Tristan: Yeah, that is weird..........unless you think about how I hit him with a basketball in the face at recess....
Me: What?!?
Tristan: But don't worry! He's in the office, and he's going to be fine!

Yep. I have some awesome students.

Confessions of a Teacher-in-Training: a conversation with a student

I had this conversation with one of my students today.

Breanna: Mrs. Sorensen, why are you wearing makeup today?
Me: Well, I wear make up every day.
Breanna: No you don't. I've never seen you wear makeup before.
Me: Oh...really? Because I put on the same makeup...every...day...
Breanna: Nope. You never wear it. But it looks nice.
Me: ...Thanks.
(another student walks up)
Jared: Mrs. Sorensen, did you know makeup is made out of bat poo?
Me: ..... (speechless)
Jared: But don't worry. I'm sure they purify it or something.
Me: Thanks, Jared.

And...yep. That pretty much sums up this week for me.

Some recent (very funny) conversations.

I've participated in some quite hilarious conversations lately. A few are most definitely worth sharing, so here you go:

Daniel and I, while making dinner.

Me: I was making the bed today, and I noticed that there's a rip in the fitted sheet. Have you noticed that?

Daniel: Yeah, I saw that.

Me: It's way weird! And it's on your side, too. Any idea how that happened?

Daniel: Uh...nope.

Me: Huh. It's funny, because when I looked at it closely, it looks more like a cut than a rip. And the mattress pad is cut, too.

Daniel: Oh really? That's odd.

Me: Yeah.

Daniel: ...I dropped my knife, okay?

Me: What?

Daniel: I was opening my knife, and I dropped it.

Me: O...kay....

Daniel: I know how it happened. I dropped my knife and it cut the sheet. And the mattress pad. And then I just lied. Sorry.

(I couldn't help but laugh! The best part? I totally didn't suspect him of anything! Haha!)

This one takes some set-up. My mom and my brother Steven (Ryan Gosling look-alike) came over to drop off some cookies and a gift card to Cabela's for D's half-birthday (yes, the Jacobsens totally celebrate half birthdays). Steven had just gotten his wisdom teeth out that day, so why he was out and about is beyond me. Anyway, this is how it went down:

Mom: Daniel, I hope you can find something great at Cabela's for your hunting trip!

Daniel: Definitely, thank you!

Steven: Um, Yeah. Um...find a good.....no, I forgot what I was going to say. No, wait. Have... have a good hunting trip.

Daniel: Uh, thanks...Steven...

Me/Mom: BAHAHahaHAhahah!

Steven: I think it's time to go home now.

Daniel and I, walking around the Gateway.

Daniel: Feet are so weird.

Me: What?

Daniel: They're so weird! Think about it. We wear flip flops and show our feet off, but they're very...intimate.

Me: That's gross.

Daniel: No! Not like that. Intimate was the wrong word. But they're personal. If someone came up to you and touched your arm, that wouldn't be weird. But if they came up to you and touched your feet?

Me: Yeah...that would be weird.

Daniel: I know! Feet are so weird.

Me: .....

A/C Envy.

So I was listening to some talk-radio morning show today, and the topic was air conditioning. They had this guy on the show who's air conditioner had been broken for an entire month, and the repairman still hadn't come out to fix it. When they heard his story, all three of the radio hosts pretty much had panic attacks:

"How could you live like that?"

"I would be threatening to kill someone!"

"It's 95 degrees outside!" 

"I would never be able to sleep at night!"

"An entire month?!"

"I'd kidnap the repairman's children and hold them hostage!"

I'm not kidding. The radio hosts were beside themselves. But believe it or not, I was freaking out even more than they were. Only it was for a much different reason.

Our apartment does not have air conditioning at all. 

It's true. No central air, no swamp cooler, not even a window unit. There is absolutely no air conditioning whatsoever in our apartment. We have lived with it for almost two summers. And believe me, it's horrible. Sometimes it even gets up to 80 degrees (!) in our little place. Sleeping with covers on is a thing of the past, and there are times when I think I may actually perish. But what made me the most upset was that not having air conditioning for a measly month earned some guy a spot on a morning show, but our landlords think it's totally cool to just let us all melt over here! And don't those morning show people know that some of us don't have air conditioning at all?!

I almost called them to tell them that, but I refrained. I refrained partly because I was late for class and had to get out of the car, but mostly because our apartments are finally under new management. Our new manager decided that we all need window A/C units or else we might all die of heatstroke. When I heard the news that we would be getting one next week, angels came down from heaven and sang a hallelujah chorus. Our new manager became my new best friend. 

Although, I have to say, I'm pretty proud of D and I for lasting as long as we have in this little apartment-turned-oven. I only had about one (or three) meltdowns the whole time! No pun intended.

But really, can you believe we've lived without air conditioning for two summers?

It's amazing what you can accomplish when you set your mind to it.

lately.

Just a few things we've been up to lately.

1. Wandering around the Salt Lake Arts Festival.

2. Sipping Jamba Juices.

3. Learning to cook artichokes.

4. Playing guitar (or if you are M, getting serenaded by the guitar).

5. Going on little dates to the Bountiful Temple.

6. And perhaps my favorite, attending beautiful weddings!

Thanks to Mel Nash Baucom for letting us be a part of your special day!

What have you been up to lately?

M+D+Cars=Death

We have had the absolute worst month with cars. It's getting kind of ridiculous. D and I are on a first-name basis with half of the mechanics and insurance agents in the Salt Lake Valley. Every single one of these things has happened to us in the last 5 weeks or so. Ready? Here we go.

1. Early in May, I got in a legit car accident in the Corolla. It had to be in the shop for like 2 weeks, so I had a to drive a rental car.

2. The same day that I got into my car accident, D got pulled over and got a ticket for having one of his tail lights out (soooo lame, right?!) Turns out, his tail light was cracked and it had filled up with water, so it wasn't an easy fix. We had to take it to a repair shop and pay to get the entire thing replaced.

3. The day after I got the rental car, I was driving to work and a giant rock hit the windshield and chipped it. Welp, there goes the deposit...

4. When my car finally got out of the repair shop, it started steaming and smoking everywhere while I was driving it home. Overheated. No one could come pick me up, so I had to wait for a guy from the repair shop to come rescue me. Oh, and this all went down on a very sketchy part of State Street, mind you. On the hottest day of May.

5.  Two days ago, D and I were driving his Saturn around on a few errands. We went to park the car and get out, but the keys would NOT come out of the ignition. They wouldn't even turn. We tried for half an hour, and had absolutely no luck. All of the repair shops were closed because it was like 10:00 at night. Finally, D ended up driving the car to his friend's house, and they figured out some way to shut the engine off with the keys still inside. We had to borrow a car from D's parents so that he could drive to work until we can get the car fixed.

6. Cut to today. We finally find some time to take D's Saturn to a repair shop. We got it there just fine, but as we were coming home from the shop in my Corolla, we noticed that the car we borrowed from D's mom had a flat tire. And no, I don't mean just low on air. The tire is legitimately FLAT.

And there you have it, folks. Currently, the Saturn is at the repair shop, D is outside changing a flat tire, and I am blogging about our ridiculously terrible luck with cars. I can't wait to see what happens next.

i love it when...

i love it when i get to wear my yellow rain boots three days in a row...
...even if it means that it has been pouring rain.

i love it when i only have two classes at school...
...even if it means i am going to school in the summer.

i love watching netflix all the time with D...
...even if it means we don't have cable.

i love it when my mom brings us costa vida...
...even if i don't get to eat it until 8:30 at night.

i love it when D's siblings are in town...

...even if they are going back to washington soon.

and my personal favorite...

i love it when D is romantic...

...even when he burns my candles that were exclusively meant for decoration.